Loving At the Edge

To experience Loving At the Edge is to experience a wondrous clear, clean space of loving within the toxic fog of pain of early Recovery.

Last Monday, a crack-cocaine addict with 30 days of Recovery (let’s call him D.) said, “What we did in this class today changed my life forever.” (Can my heart break open any wider?)

We had Felt Sensed into the Serenity Prayer.

Even the person with brain damage (Let’s call him E.) received wonderful meaning from inside, and, by sharing this, he connected with the whole group and the whole group connected with him.
It’s amazing grace.

Here are a few samples:

D. Found a sense of “Balance” with the concept of Serenity. He said it was like a flow inside him, “the flow of a gentle stream.”

E. Said that Serenity was like a “fresh sunny afternoon…I feel a cool breeze moving up and down inside me, cleaning up every corner.”

For Courage:

D. said he had a sense of a lion inside him. He said this lion of courage felt “established and infinite” and that it was always going to be there now because he had just established it. He was stunned with the power he felt. He said he now knew that this courage was inside him and that he could always access it.

E. experienced courage as “the hand on my chest that guides me through the storm.”

For Wisdom:

D. experienced it as “the ocean, but the whole thing as one…alive….vast…complete. It has a quality of, ‘supreme’ or ‘king’…or….like ‘the highest source of things.’” It’s like a never ending…string..of fluorescent…treasure. The string can move…”

E said that wisdom was listening to his inner voices that was like guidance towards the light that felt like a warm pounding from his heart.

And how would it be to live with Serenity, Courage and Wisdom?

D. “Like God…holy and pure.”
E. “Absolute confidence that has (past tense) guided me through the storm. Inside I feel a deep ease.”

And, D., D. said that this “changed his life forever” because he found — and by finding it he established it — courage inside him.

D. is a beautiful person, coming in off the streets, coming out of his addiction, finding and establishing Recovery inside him. I am humbled ever time I am fortunate enough to witness his Felt Sensing process, for the incredible awareness that emerges from inside him blesses the group with a sense of wonder and healing.

The whole group experience was, as always, mind blowing and heart breaking.

Another newcomer said that it felt like a super rush of endorphines. This is what addicts need. Their brains can no longer produce these “feel good” chemicals. Focusing  and “We-ing” enables them to start creating new neurotranmitters. I’m convinced of this because we FEEL GOOD when we focus together as a group.

Yes. Healing through We-ing. That is what Loving At the Edge is all about!

I am so blessed to have found this new world of loving.

Thank you for listening.

Keep Falling Into Your Hearts,

Suzanne

Passing it On

Hi Everyone.

Just wanted to let you know that I am presently offering a 10 Session Recovery Focusing course in Spanish (through Skype). I am so grateful for this powerful and meaningful experience that tears come straight from my heart as I write.

Focusing with the Spanish speaking community feels like I am “with family.”We are all enjoying the process so very much, even though many are not actually 12 steppers nor working in the drug and alcohol treatment field. Today a man shared that he felt “drunk with happiness in an ocean of well-being” at the end of the workshop.

Focusing at work at Costa Rica Recovery center is like being in that life-saving boat we talk about in Recovery, but with all of us really having a great time together. (Focusing adds this deep inner joy to Step work, especially the Widening phase of my model for working with groups, where we imagine and feel the best of Recovery. It’s amazing.)

Sharing all of this in a group, where we are all felt sensing and felt listening together (TOGETHERING RECOVERY AND FOCUSING!) makes the experience all the more…FELT!

Going inside myself now, I “see” an image of all of us inside one of those spinning rides at the Fair, going higher and higher till we feel the wind and our happiness more and more. The sense inside is of truly enjoying and celebrating life! And so it is! This is the gift that felt sensing brings to recovery: the gift of true, bodily-lived, aliveness. And what could possibly be more spiritual than this?!

“We get a daily reprieve based on our spiritual condition.” (Alcoholics Anonymous)

Thanks for listening.

Suzanne

 

Recovery

Hi Everyone.

Sharing from memory, here, as I left my books at work.

I just wanted to share a snippet of today’s Recovery Focusing group.

One person received this about “Recovery”:

“I see myself laying on a dirty puddle, face down. Everything is in black and white and the skies are thundering and lightning in a storm. A whole group
of colorful people come and lift me out of the puddle, take me into their totally different, colorful and vibrant world. Totally different! The feel of this inside is that
Recovery is fresh. Fresh! Fresh like an orange cut in half. Just like that!”

This from an 18 year old who has discovered Recovery. Shifting from black and white to full color. Totally different.

Previous to this sharing, when we were sensing into the “powerlessness and unmanageability” of our last year before recovery,
someone said: “I feel this terrible pressure in my chest, like suffocation…like I was deep sea diving. The deeper I went, the less I could breathe. Everything got more and more blurry and distorted. In the end it was all dark. I almost died. I’m just so grateful that others came to lift me to the surface.”

There’s another woman who is an incredible Focuser. She gets things right in her solar plexus. She feels the burning, tight heat there, and then the release.
She gets images, songs, movement. Her focusing is a complete experience!  It’s a joy to let her be with herself in this wonderful focusing way. Today she said that Recovery smelled like her grandfather’s cigar and her grandmother’s coffee. She felt “safe.”

Another person got a song: “I get a peaceful, easy feeling. And I know  you won’t let me down. Cause I’m already standing, on the ground.”
She sang this. Then said, “I am already standing.”

Oh. Amazing Grace!

I understand that most of us experience this magic of Focusing when we facilitate groups. It is all so amazing. It’s just that for me, as I hold these tears of
gratitude that are here, it’s such a blessing to witness their transformation, knowing they were all so near to death, so flat and depressed, so caught
in the horror (the “terror and panic” as someone said) of addiction — and now, they are sharing together and experiencing the fresh feel of Recovery.
Yes, and it comes in all sorts of colors and shapes, smells and sounds, body feelings and gestures, words and images…and song!

Yes, being in a Recovery Focusing group is like sitting in the center of a keleidoscope of shifting aliveness!

Thanks for listening.

Suzanne

 

A New Freedom and a New Happiness

Hello everyone.

Today, at the end of the Recovery Focusing group at work (Costa Rica Recovery Center), the group broke into spontaneous applause. They said it was for me. I almost started crying. I said, “It’s not me. It’s Focusing!”

I’m so grateful, I can still feel the tears brimming.

We “Focused Into” Steps Eight and Nine.

We started by making a short list of people we loved and who loved us. We then sensed into this, asking, “How is this inside me?” Letting a body feeling, emotional feeling tone, image, posture/gesture, song, …whatever…come from inside.

It’s so heart-warming to have each person find this feel-good experience — to have people feel at peace, grateful, warm, joyful, etc.

We then moved into Step eight: “Made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.“
The felt senses of this included (among others):

“Like a heavy back pack on my shoulders and a hard rock of shame in my belly.”
“Like everyone is scarred because of my addiction, including me.”
“Like I am skateboarding downhill, out of control, and I can’t stop. People are asking me to get off, and I can’t. It’s like a bag of bricks on my shoulders.”
“Incredulity.”

(Being clear about the reality of addiction is important to Recovery. Though these felt senses may seem “harsh,” they clearly let us know our bodily-lived truth about substance abuse or other process addictions. After this, I asked “shift” questions. The “What does this need?” question helps people shift forward and find what they or the felt sense is needing. This is quite meaningful for people. They find their own way forward into healing.)

To close, we moved into Step Nine. “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.” I invited them to “imagine and feel how it might be inside AFTER you make amends?”

“Like I have moved from the dark into the light. It feels like a celebration…a feast!”
“At peace with myself. Comfortable in my own skin. Light like a feather. Weightless.”
“Wholeness.”
“No more weight on my shoulders. Like I am floating. Everything is white. I feel…unchained. Peaceful. Joyful.”
“Free. Like horses let out. Like Wild Horses.”
“I feel fresh and clean, like after a long hot shower where I have scrubbed myself clean. No longer a pariah [outcast].”

The beauty of all this is that they are getting a felt glimpse into how they are going to feel after they make amends.
After each person shared this latter part, I said, “And that is a promise.”
It is a promise.

Each Step has its promises, but the AA promises of Step Nine (making amends) are the most outstanding for people in Recovery.
I copy them below.

Many of us Focusers could say that these promise apply to Focusing as well.

The Promises of Step Nine:

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

• We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
• We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
• We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
• No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
• That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
• We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
• Self-seeking will slip away.
• Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
• Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
• We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
• We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not.

• They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p83-84)

I have to say, that Group Focusing continues to amaze me.
I hope you can get a sense of the bonding and love that all these previously broken people experience by felt sensing together.

It’s a miracle.

Blessed am I!
The spontaneous applause belongs to them! To them! (Oh, if only they could see this!)

Thank you for listening.

Still with tears of gratitude,

Suzanne

Recovery Focusing workshop starts September 11

Starting Sunday, September 11th
at 4 p.m. Pacific Time; 5 p.m. Costa Rica; 7 p.m. Eastern.

Click below for more information:
THE FELT MEANING OF RECOVERY: DISCOVERING OUR INNER EXPERIENCE OF THE 12 STEP PATHWAY

Teleconference course.

Ten session exploration of the feel of the 12 Step Pathway.

$30 per person per workshop if you pay as you go;
$250 if you pay all at once.

(See me if you really need a discount!)

Contact me at recoveryfocusing@gmail.com if you are interested.

Pausing to appreciate this opportunity to share this illuminating process,

Suzanne

P.A.U.S.E

P.A.U.S.E.

Pause.
Attend Unconditionally
Symbolize Experience..

For urges/cravings:

Pause.
Attend Urgency.
Symbolize experience with
Empathy.

FIND YOUR OWN P.A.U.S.E.

Pause.

Attend/Acknowledge.

Understand.

Symbolize Experience.

THEN KEEP MOVING FORWARD not backward!

Shift from being stuck in an addictive process to processing your stuckness!

Have a great day.

Suzanne

“It’s like magic.”

Hi Everyone.

Today, a client at Costa Rica Recovery said, “I love focusing. It’s like magic. It’s like I have a box right here (he points to his chest). I look at it, take it out, open it up, share with others and…wallah! Suddenly everything is gone! It disappears! (And he extends his arms up in a gesture of great release).

I’ve written many times about one of my favorite quotes: “Magic happens when you make a space for it.”

And so it is!

In gratitude,

Suzanne